did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
