The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
