escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
