He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no you cant smoke seaweed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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