now i know why i became what i already was.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
