I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
