i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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