I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So squirting runs in the family.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
