You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
