I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
