I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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