You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
