it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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