just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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