White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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