I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize