I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
