she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
two words: eviction party
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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