Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
