Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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