i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
