Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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