whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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