in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
