Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
