we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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