we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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