Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
