she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
