that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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