Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
