i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
