The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
