There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
