As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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