so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
