We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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