she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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