Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
