I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
either way he was missing a nipple.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
