I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
