So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
