walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
