it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
