There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
