You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
