idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
