the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
