i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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