haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
